SLAM DUNKING 180S IN TO THE TRASH
The nature of being an incredibly judgmental person means that - without ever talking to or meeting someone - there exists a set of blind signifiers that virtually guarantee dislike, no matter what the rest of his or her life, accomplishments or personality entails.
That list includes, but is certainly not limited to:
- Closing personal emails with a signature of, "--- ------ , MBA"
- Working for the GOP
- Eating anything that requires a spoon on public transit
- Being super into religion
- Wearing 180s instead of a hat
You know 180s, by look if not by name; they're the dumb, horizontal ear warmers that rose to prominence amongst poorly-dressed urban professionals in the mid-aughts. These fucking things:
- Do you like my 180s, Derek? I'm gonna look sick on the slopes.
- Wow, Chad, I love your 180s. The only thing you're better at than skiing is giving our hair this amazing volume.
Try to imagine a situation where the only task more vital than covering your ears from the cold is preserving the four hours of work you put in that morning to mold you hair in to a modern day Sistine Chapel. Also, keep in mind the scenario you're creating must take place without wind, rain, or snow, because 180s won't do shit for those problems either, and they will also tornado your hair to rubble. Having trouble coming up with something? That's because there is no actual question to the answer that 180s are supposed to solve. 180s are like saying, "Here's a go-kart steering wheel made for an octopus;" pretty novel and all, but not exactly a gaping whole in the marketplace that needed filling.
Either it's cold enough outside that you need to protect your entire head, which necessitates the possibility of messing up your coiffed hair, or it's not. There is no middle ground. Leaving the practicality of their design out of it, it's impossible to talk about 180s without mentioning how absolutely dumb 180s make you look. You're better off walking around with a sign around your neck that say, "I tell strangers what frat I pledged during the first 30 seconds of conversation," at least then people might still give you the benefit of the doubt.
But it's not too late to do a 180 on 180s - locate the nearest trash receptacle, open the lid, remove the 180s from your head, and slam dunk them in there like Shaq in his prime. Then replace them with this Kapital Remake Jet Cap. You may have to comb your hair again when you get to work but along the way you turned more heads toward you in appreciation than away from you in disgust.
Price: $206
Brand: Kapital
Store: HAVEN
Why: It's hard to find a good winter hat that isn't a beanie or knit cap. You want something heavy enough to keep heat from escaping your dome piece but comfortable enough that you aren't sweating bullets the moment you walk inside. This Trail Cap from Maple (also available it HAVEN) is another option we'd recommend, and less expensive, but the Kapital Jet Cap's multiple colored panels, mixed wool and denim material, and unique construction (guaranteeing no two are alike) make it a winner. The camp hat design also means that it won't sit super high up on your head like some traditional baseball caps do - believe us, no one's rounding your 5'10" up to 6'0" just because your hat's so deep it can't sit right on your head.