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Back to SHORT STUFF
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KICKING AND SCREAMING
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THE IPHONE GUILTY REMNANT
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LOOK AT THIS F!CKING BLANKET
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SEARCHING EBAY FOR OBSCURE SHIT
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MONEY FOR NOTHING, TRIPS FOR FREE
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L'APPEL DU VIDE
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HELICOPTERS > PRIVATE JETS
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PLAY THE PROTAGONIST
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COLD BREW OR BUST
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CONSIDER NOT PAYING YOUR TAXES
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LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE
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HANGING OUT WITH AN AMATEUR COMEDIAN
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THE MANIC PIXIE SCHADENFREUDE DREAM GIRL
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IGNORING PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST
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THERE ARE NO* COOL COLLEGES
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THE CASE FOR MULTIPLE EMAIL ADDRESSES
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SETTING A GOOGLE ALERT FOR YOUR OWN NAME
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ROLLING AT THE RINK
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JUST THROW SOMETHING ON
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GETTING COMFORTABLE AT THE AIRPORT
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REMOVING SHOES AT OTHER PEOPLES' HOUSES
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NEVER USE VIDEO CALLS FOR WORK
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ADMITTING DRUG USE TO YOUR PARENTS
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ICE SKATING FINGER SAFETY
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“VULNERABLE,” “ENTITLEMENT,” “DIVERSITY,”
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AN UNPOPULAR OPINION
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VOTE FOR HOA PEDRO
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UNCOMFORTABLE INTERVIEWS
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NEIGHBORHOOD BAR CAMOUFLAGE
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SELL OUT, NOTHING MATTERS
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TIP YOUR OPEN BAR STAFF
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MOVING TO AMSTERDAM FOR WORK
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LASERS AND SCIENCE SH*T
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THE DOG PARK PERSON
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THE FREEDOM OF COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP DRESSING
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SHARING REALLY SPECIFIC JOKES
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A LOTTERY WITHOUT WINNERS
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FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
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HIGH SCHOOL NEVER ENDS
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CEMENTING COOL COUSIN STATUS
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THE ART OF MOVING
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ENVY AT THE FARMERS MARKET
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THE IMPORTANCE OF LOCKING IT UP
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A NEW KID ON SUPREME'S BLOCK
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SLAM DUNKING 180S IN TO THE TRASH
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LAST RITES ON A CROWDED TRAIN
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NEVER TALKING TO ANYONE AT THE GYM
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DON'T BE THE COOL SOCK GUY
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INDULGING IN HIGHLY SPECIFIC HOBBIES NOT TYPICALLY SUITED TO CITY LIFE
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SAFEGUARDING AGAINST EXISTENTIAL DREAD
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EVERYDAY SUPERHEROES
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A LUXURY EGG BABY
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GOING TO FUNDRAISERS WHILE SINGLE
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WELDING FOR THE WEEKEND
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LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER AND IMPROVE EXISTENCE
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KEEPING QUIET/HOW TO ACQUIRE A CAT
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ALSO BEING A MAGICIAN
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LITTERING AND
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MAKING A SCENE AT A RESTAURANT
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THAT ONE SCENE FROM GARDEN STATE
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SUCCESSFULLY STEALING CHURROS
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DUCK DUCK CANADA GOOSE
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ACCEPTABLE WAMPA COSPLAY
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COOL TRAIN GUYS
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LEON PHELPS APPROVED
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DON'T BE A JACKET THIEF
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HANG SOME PIPE
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PRESENT THE DRUGS
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SAY FUCK OFF WITHOUT WORDS
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NO COOL HOLIDAY PARTIES
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MINI SLEEPING BAGS
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REVERSE REVERSE
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SOLVE TWO PROBLEMS
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BE LIKE JOHN MAYER
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VIBES ONLY
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FRUIT SNACKS
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EXPLORING ALL POSSIBILITIES
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POKEMON GO AWAY
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GO CAMPING