ROLLING AT THE RINK

Here's the opposite of a hot take: roller skating is cool.

Roller hockey: chill. Inline skating, AKA rollerblading, down the sidewalk: not chill. Donning your finest garb, grabbing a sweetheart - ideally in a freshly polished, vintage Buick or Cadillac - and heading down to the roller rink for a couples' skate? Ice cold.

Stop rolling your eyes. 

Take a minute and check out these goddamn downright saucy moves from skaters at the Brooklyn Skate Club. If seeing a man spitting distance from 70 shake, shimmy, and spin while wearing braided tassels wasn't enough to get your feet tapping to an inaudible beat it's possible you'll never have sex again. While there's nothing here we can do about your horrible personality there's still hope, because the roller rink is both a respite from the outside world and as good a place outside as any outside an an app to meet a horizontal dance partner.

Roller skating exists as a metaphorical even playing field, and at its essence it is a vestige of the past. While there will always be differentiators of the haves and have nots, the quad skate - invented in 1863 by James Plimpton - with its relatively low bars for both price and ease of use, has continuously had a way of bringing different people together. Something about those first freeing strides as you glide away from the wall bring feelings of youth eternal no matter where which side of the tracks you call home.

Throwing out the roller skating scenes in 2006's incredibly hard-to-watch TI vehicle ATL and Chance the Rapper's ode to teenage nights of flirting on his track Juke Jam, roller skating rarely gets modern day media recognition. But given the way Pitch Perfect has made synchronized vocal performance as close to aca-awesome as it's ever been hopefully it's only time before Beanie Feldstein, Jonah Hill's younger sister for those of you who need a male reference point, does the same for strapping on a pair of skates and hitting the hardwood. 

Not for nothing, when it comes down to it, the best part about roller skating may just be its ability to salvage those trips to visit distant relatives who reside in towns you'd normally pass through without a second glance out the window. What coastal elites call flyover states might better be better termed as roller rink country, where spotty cell phone service opens the door for old-fashioned group get togethers in the heart of town. Either of these corduroy offerings from OTHER/shop or Dickies x Opening Ceremony will let you show off your big-city fashion sense as you pop, lock, and twirl, all the while blending in with folks for whom spacious britches never went out of style.

 

Prices:  $188 (Cornflower Blue) / $185 (Rose Pink) 

Brands:  OTHER (Blue) / Dickies 1922 x Opening Ceremony (Pink)

Stores:  OTHER/shop (Blue) / Opening Ceremony (Pink)

Why:  These offerings, from OTHER/shop and Opening Ceremony's collaboration with Dickies, are fraternal twins of corduroy trousers. One cropped, one hanging lower with a slightly elongated inseam, both have enough knee room to satisfy any wide leg acolyte and either pairs well with a simple monotone sneaker or chunky dad shoe. Each is also made of 100% cotton and offer a modern twist on a traditional style. And if you're really feeling wacky, go all in and pick up the matching rose pink corduroy overshirt to complete a corduroy holy trinity.