present the drugs

The worst part about going to concerts is the mandatory patdown required before you can enter the venue. Either you get the dude who literally could not care less and is basically there just to make sure you're not bringing in a giant foldable couch, or you get the guy who just recently got fired from his job as a guard at a federal penitentiary because even there his inmate patdowns were too aggressive. It's like, "Listen guy, if I was going to hide drugs or alcohol and bring it in the venue do you really think I'd fashion a fake cast out of paper mache, line it with cocaine, then break off tiny pieces of that cast to snort during this show? Nah man, I'd just put that shit in the fifth pocket of my jeans and hope for the best."

With this Advanced Apparel Exploration sweatshirt from Nike, you can take all the guesswork out of where to keep your drugs. You're using reverse psychology on 'em - they think there's no way someone would be bold enough to put their stash front and center (Muska hid it in the shoes) but they don't know the stones on you. Now you can just waltz right in to Disney on Ice and those narc security guards will never know what they missed.


Price:  $215

Brand:  Nike

Store:  Notre

Why:  Layered underneath a jacket this Nike piece just looks like a very comfortable, technical crewneck with thumb holes, but the real selling point here is the pockets. Accented in a neutral earth tone, they're perfect for anything small (drugs), including passports and pens while traveling, or cell phones and keys while out for a run. My favorite shirt to travel in is this denim pullover from Snow Peak that's modeled after a cycling jersey because it's got pockets on pockets for days. Plus, as a bonus, you can avoid the Fashion Fanny Pack wave that's guaranteed to be super regrettable not long from now and just throw everything in the pockets on your sweatshirt instead.