You know what's better than randomly crossing the path of someone you went to high school with and having a lovely-catch up conversation? Making eye contact with that same person, ignoring the fuck out of them, and getting on with your day.

"Oh, no, that's so callous!" 

Number one: no it's not, number two: shut up. 

There comes a point in every adult relationship, personal, platonic, professional, or otherwise, where non-communication becomes a mutual choice; four years ago you decided it wasn't worth keeping in touch with an old co-worker or that girl who grew up on your street, and since he or she never texted or emailed you, you never reached out to them either. Both lives went on.

So now, when you happen to find yourself - through a lottery of shared socio-economic, demographic and employment overlaps - seated at adjacent tables at the new ramen restaurant downtown, you are not required to rekindle that relationship. Wouldn't such an attempt, in fact, signal that your life is so unfulfilled and lacking in human interaction you find it easier to mutually tiptoe around the reality that neither of you found the other interesting enough to maintain contact instead of just making new friends? Don't crawl back to a familiar well on the dubious chance this person is more interesting on his or her second go-round.

Can't imagine yourself as the protagonist in this story? Next time an old acquaintance you haven't spoken to since the first Obama presidency tries to catch your gaze on the train, or as you pass in the cough medicine aisle of the drugstore, try this on for size: look squarely ahead and walk right by them.

Don't say you weren't warned, the feeling of power is intoxicating. 

And it's a slippery slope from that first happenstance interaction to trawling LinkedIn for a Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison type list of people from your past of whom you'd love nothing more than to have the chance to ignore. Just to be safe you'll want to start wearing this Thank You Print T-Shirt from Longjourney as often as you can, the perfect shirt for surreptitiously ignoring someone from your past while still giving them plenty to talk about.


Price:  $190

Brand:  Longjourney

Store:  NOTRE

Why:  If you don't occasionally find yourself opening your t-shirt drawer and thinking, "These are cool and all, but I wish I could take them to the Next Level®," either you aren't living right or you've already picked up this Longjourney garm. With elbow length sleeves, side pockets(!) and a longer, sweatshirt-style rear hem, there's nothing normal about this piece, and it works equally well as an outfit's primary focus or layer it underneath a lightweight bomber or coaches jacket. Envy awaits.