There's nothing like passing by an adult rec leage softball/flag football/hockey game at 9:30pm on a Wednesday and looking in the stands to see an actual spectator. It's a feeling equivalent to running alone through a forest then coming across an entire Junior High chess team practicing in a field: "What the fuck are you doing here? Where did you come from? What is your purpose?"

Aside from a dragged-along significant other, there should never be anyone in the crowd at an adult kickball game. Literally being anywhere else is a more enjoyable alternative.

Nonetheless, a story: There was a girl whose younger brother was living with her because he'd gotten fired from his last job and kicked out of the house, and he decided to come to a game. When the game was over, Troy, a teammate, asked the kid if he had any interest in a pipe and sprinkler hanging apprenticeship.

- Hey man, if you want, you can come with me this week and hang some pipe.
Uhh, what?
- Yeah, I can pay you like eighteen bucks an hour if you want to hang some pipe.
<15 seconds of silence>
- Umm, no offense but I don't swing that way bro.

Needless to say, he probably didn't have the mental capacity for the work anyways. With these Tres Bien Carpenter Pants you'll be ready for whatever job comes your way.


Price:  $196

Brand:  Tres Bien

Store:  Tres Bien

Why:  Hopefully you're past wondering if white pants are OK for men; Google Trends confirms that you've been good since at least 2009. Despite what you may read, wearing white pants is not all that difficult, just put them on one leg at a time and make sure your fly is up. These Tres Bien pants put a spin on things by adding utility pockets and a hanger loop so no one can challenge your DIY credentials, even if the only thing you're doing yourself is looking down on all the guys you pass in plain old blue jeans.