ALSO BEING A MAGICIAN
There's a magic store down the street that no one ever seems to be in, yet is miraculously not dusty inside and somehow finds the money every month to pay its rent. Not, like, Magic: The Gathering, which would actually probably do some decent geek business, magic like how to pull a dove out of a top hat, or the secrets behind slowly vomiting up four yards of multicolored scarves. They have signs advertising birthday parties where kids can presumably learn a card trick or too, but that hardly seems like it would be enough to keep the lights on. And it's not a dilapidated building either where you'd think rent is probably three nickels and a Capri-Sun, there are other legitimate businesses on either side. Chalk it up to one of life's mysteries.
So let's get down to the nut of it. When you put on this Blue Blue Japan Stand Collar Long Shirt, you're going to look super chill and happy like the dude happily modeling the garment. Also, sorry, but there's no way around this next part: you are also now a magician.
If you haven't scrolled through the photos of the shirt yet, now is the time. Let's walk through this shapeshifting together:
- Dude's got his hands in his pockets! Hip pockets on a shirt! Super happy looking guy, prolly just got the text from Jude that the swell is banging down at Pipeline. Note the blue blocking on the back of the shirt.
- Gazing off in to the distance our man's hands are loose and free, but his mind is contemplating the devastating effects of global sea levels rising. Total bummer. Sweet blue rectangles on the rear of the shirt though.
- Closeup on the pockets keeping Surfin' Sammy's hands warm, blue peekin' from the back.
- Time to make the money with his serious model pose. Note the band collar and chest pocket, all white front like he's auditioning for The Young Pope.
- Oh just one more picture here to check out and -
WHAT. THE. FUCK. THE. BLUE. BLOCKS. ARE. NOW. ON. THE FRONT. OF. THE. SHIRT. THAT IS CLEARLY A BREAST POCKET AND BUTTONS RUNNING DOWN THE MIDDLE AND OH MY GOD I GUESS I AM NOW THE GENIE FROM ALADDIN.
Seriously, what the fuck is going on? The easiest explanation is that the last photo is actually of a different shirt, but would Blue Blue Japan really make shirts that were exactly the same save for swapping the blue block print to front? No one seems to know. After an email to Canvas Malibu went unanswered the only explanation is that the shirt is now sentient and is occupying the souls of the retail workers tasked with selling it, and it is loathe to tell you its secrets for free. You should totally buy this shirt because it's awesome, but don't say we didn't warn you.
Price: $230 (on sale from $325)
Brand: Blue Blue Japan
Store: Canvas Malibu
Why: Any time you check out an look book or editorial, you know which pictures always look coolest? The ones where the model has layered perfectly, or is wearing what seems like way too many layers to be comfortable. And you know what the best layering piece is? A versatile long shirt. This piece from Blue Blue Japan is perfect; first off, white is never going to clash or go out of style. Second, the solid blue blocking on the back (or front??) adds visual flair if worn by itself or underneath another garment. Third, the band collar - for layering purposes a band collar works best since it lays flat underneath whatever you pair it with and helps you avoid that oxford-under-sweater look (unless you look like Daniel Craig). Last, it's a shirt with pockets at the hip - more often than not, more pockets are better than less pockets. So buy this shirt and you're guaranteed to up your clout with the spirit world.